A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into
bed when his wife complained, as usual, ‘I have a headache.’

‘Perfect,’ her husband said.’ I was just in the bathroom
powdering my penis with aspirin.

You can take it orally, or as a suppository, it’s up to you.’

I think this one is funny - Thank God as I young wify I don’t have to deal with all that …

Dirty joke - Please excuse the rough language in the following story . I would have deleted them, but the story wouldn’t be the same….

A young couple recently got married and went on their honeymoon. When
they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. ‘Well,’ said her
mother, ’so how was the honeymoon?’

‘Oh, mama,’ she replied, ‘the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic!’
Suddenly she burst out crying. ‘But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam
started using the most horrible language — things I’d never heard
before!
I mean all these awful 4-letter words! You’ve got to take me home .
PLEASE MAMA!’

‘Sarah, Sarah,’ her mother said, ‘calm down!’ You need to stay with your
husband and work this out. Now, tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT
4-letter words?’

‘Please don’t make me tell you, mama,’ wept the daughter, ‘I’m so
embarrassed, they’re just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE!!’

‘Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother
these horrible 4-letter words!’

Sobbing, the bride said, ‘Oh, Mama . . he used words like: dust, wash,
iron, and cook …’

‘I’ll pick you up in twenty minutes,’ said the mother

I think this one is super funny -

Canadian Girls

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their
new wives duties to perform.

Terry had married a woman from America, and bragged that he had told
his new wife to do the dishes and all the cleaning in the house. He said it
took a couple of days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and
all the dishes were washed and put away.

James had married a woman from Australia and he bragged that he had
given his new wife orders to do all the cleaning, the dishes and the cooking.
He told them the first day he didn’t see any results, but the next day it
was better and by the third day his house was clean, the dishes done and
there was a huge meal on the table.

The third man said the he had married a girl from Canada . He boasted
that the duties he had ordered her to do were to keep the house
cleaned, the dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table
everyday. He said the first day he didn’t see anything, the second day he
didn’t see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down
and he could see a little bit out of his left eye. Enough to make himself
a bite to eat, load the dishwasher and call a gardener.